


Hetalia Issues

by orphan_account



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Canon, Character Study, Daddy Issues, Dark, Gen, Love, Mentions a lot of countries, Songfic, character introspection, relfection, the neighbourhood - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-25 07:36:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14972264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A look into what it means to be represent thousands of people, while being human yourself.Songfic for Daddy Issues by The Neighbourhood





	Hetalia Issues

**Author's Note:**

> I highly suggest listening to Daddy Issues by The Neighbourhood while reading. Really great!
> 
> I do not own Hetalia or it's characters. All rights go to Hidekaz Himaruya.

_ Take you like a drug _ _   
_ _ I taste you on my tongue _

Once, while they were still young, the future Canada admitted to the future United States that he would never understand adult nations. Why they fought, and why they left behind those they had fought for. The future United States agreed. After all, they were two child nations, the only ones around, and only they really understood each other. 

Until America grew up. 

_ You ask me what I'm thinking about  
_ _ I tell you that I'm thinking about  
_ __ Whatever you're thinking about

When Arthur had first left, Matthew ran to an older America and asked if he had left like Francis had. America's answer was a cryptic, "England's gone but Arthur will come back." But Canada could see his uncertainty in his blue eyes, like he wasn't sure either, and to this day Canada wondered if his brother was scared he'd be forgotten.

_ Tell me something that I'll forget  
_ _ And you might have to tell me again _

Canada should have America's rebellion coming; certain book recommendations, casually dropping his meeting spot with Jefferson, all the signs were there. But he always forgot.  _ Why? _

_ It's crazy what you do for a friend _

He came to the conclusion, when he was fighting with one brother against another, that he had been too deep in denial to see clearly. His desire for companionship had blinded him when Alfred was already gone, and by the time he opened his eyes was he opening fire on America's people.

_ Go ahead and cry little girl  
_ _ Nobody does it like you do  
_ _ I know how much it matters to you  
_ __ I know that you got daddy issues

So he became the Golden Boy America once was. He proved to England, over and over again, that he could be just as prosperous as his brother but he would not leave.  

_ And if you were my little girl  
_ _ I'd do whatever I could do _

England thanked him for it once. He was drunk and America had bailed early, leaving him to clean up the mess.  _ Story of my life, _ Canada had thought, pulling the empire upright. 

_ I'd run away and hide with you  
_ _ I love that you got daddy issues  
_ __ And I do too

He almost felt guilty, taking the gratitude. England's  _ Thank you for not being like them _ and _ You didn't disappear _ sounded so sincere, the alcohol having loosened his tongue.  

He hadn't stayed for England. America's revolution had crashed into him like a tidal wave, remind him that the world was constantly changing, and not always for the better. He clung to England as to not be swept away, and only when he felt stable enough did he go as well. 

It didn't occur to him later that England said  _ them _ , not him. 

 

_ I tried to write your name in the rain  
_ _ But the rain never came _

He never knew just how freeing isolationism was until he had it for himself. With the Atlantic and Pacific detaching him from the world, Alfred could have done anything, said anything. 

America didn't. 

Because Alfred was America and America was Alfred, not matter how much he tried to keep them apart in his mind. 

_ So I made with the sun  
_ _ The shade, always comes at the worst times _

So why was it in those years he found himself wanting to make amends? Was it because he could without foreign affairs getting in the way? He poured out  _ I'm sorry _ and  _ I wish we'd gone to see that waterfall _ and everything else he'd bottled up on letters but never sent them. 

_ You ask me what I'm thinking about  
_ _ I'll tell you that I'm thinking about  
_ __ Whatever you're thinking about

Nations were all the same, America realized. Hiding behind a facade of love and consideration while having in mind neither. When he was young and idealistic, before his push westward, he swore he would not be the same.

It took the Confederacy, then not quite a country but not quite one with the Union, whispering poison directly into his mind to realize just how wrong he was.

_ Tell me something that I'll forget  
_ _ And you might have to tell me again  
_ __ It's crazy what you do for a friend

Every trade agreement, every peace treaty was a double-edged sword, and giving an inch of ground was offering your enemy the whetstone. So he learned, and then he forgot. He knew the other nations called him naive and stupid, but he didn't care.

Not when he had them at his knees later, begging for mercy or for aid. Then everyone, even prideful and nitpicky England, fell silent. Sometimes he scared even himself with how ruthless he could be.

_ Go ahead and cry little girl  
_ _ Nobody does it like you do  
_ _ I know how much it matters to you  
_ __ I know that you got daddy issues

Then why, Alfred wondered, did he feel  _ so sorry _ ? Was he too inexperienced to be numbed by cruelty? Why did he try, again and again, to fix things even though he knew it would come back to put a bullet in his back later?

Easy. Because Nations were nations but they were human too. And humans were clingy and weak and  _ felt _ so, so much. It would not be the first time.

_ And if you were my little girl  
_ _ I'd do whatever I could do  
_ __ I love that you got daddy issues

When he was told there were nukes in Cuba, he had locked himself in his bunker for days, fiddling with guns and pills while desperately scrawling for any kind of solution. Killing himself was one; a quick and painless one, because nothing compared to your capital being destroyed. 

But the part of him that was Alfred, that was human and scared wouldn't let him. Not just out of fear, but of spite and stubborn optimism as well. The power Alfred had over his choices disturbed him, but he gave in. 

_ I keep on trying to let you go  
_ _ Dying to let you know  
_ __ How I'm getting on

It wasn't just him and Canada, of course. The Ancients and feelings of love were but phantom memories for so many Nations. They would fight to the death for dominance from so young, only to have the wool ripped from their eyes and for another power to take the stage. 

_ I didn't cry when you left at first  
_ _ But now that you're dead it hurts  
_ _ This time I gotta know  
_ __ Where did my daddy go?

Why weren't nations made apathetic gods or a plant, so they did not have to deal with human things such as emotions or attachments?

_ I'm not entirely here  
_ _ Half of me has disappeared _

War was the only time they ever felt whole. The lives of  thousands perfectly synchronized with the life of the nation itself. War rallied people together like nothing else, if nothing for the sake of survival. 

_ Go ahead and cry little boy  
_ _ You know that your daddy did too  
_ _ You know what your mama went through  
_ __ You gotta let it out soon, just let it out

It was same for all of them. Brothers and fathers and friends  that loved and hated and vanished. Not even immortals were forever. 

_ Go ahead and cry little girl  
_ _ Nobody does it like you do  
_ _ I know how much it matters to you  
_ __ I know that you got daddy issues

That was the curse of being a nation. As nations they could not love fully or unconditionally, but as humans they did so anyway. Two conflicting natures that dragged nations down a centuries long path, and when they finally reached the end, they left behind those that didn't, no matter how much love was there.

_ And if you were my little girl  
_ _ I'd do whatever I could do  
_ _ I'd run away and hide with you  
_ _ I love that you got daddy issues  
_ __ And I do too

And so the cycle continues.

_ And if you were my little girl  
_ _ I'd do whatever I could do  
_ _ I'd run away and hide with you  
_ _ I love that you got daddy issues  
_ __ And I do too

**Author's Note:**

> This is the only fic that actually expanded from what I wanted it to be. It just planned to be about America and Canada's relationship and daddy issues with England, but it turned into something that applied to other nations as well. No regrets, though.


End file.
